Stop Saying These Things

How much do you bless or curse your marriage with your choice of words? If I’m honest, as someone who battles with a perfectionist mentality, I have faced moments of regret about how I want my marriage to be. I know I am not the only woman in the world who has racing thoughts worrying about today, next year and ten years from now. I have discovered these thoughts are not always positive and create a space for insecurities to develop about my marriage. Anxious thoughts can lead you to feel angry because emotionally you are experiencing fear. This can lead you to saying regretful things about your marriage. This is why I felt sharing this blog today would help someone.

Comparing My Marriage

One of the greatest defeats is comparison. As a married couple, it’s so easy to believe other marriages are better than yours. This is a lie from the enemy. Do not believe this! Take a moment to think about how much society has allowed for social media to define what we SHOULD look like, what our marriage SHOULD look like and what our families SHOULD be like! We didn’t even cover all the materialistic things that are expected of you in order to give you the humbling title of “success” over your life. How many times have you felt low due to seeing a social media post that triggered anxieties about your life or marriage? I fell many times into the trap of believing my marriage was not good enough. I put unnecessary pressures on my husband and I that God never intended, but I let comparison find a root in my heart. I spoke doubt into existence over my marriage, never understanding the power of my words.

Why can’t God do it for us?

Time, spiritual maturity and the Holy spirit helped me realize that what I saw God doing for other marriages, He was doing for mine in a different way at a different time. Wanting what others had, robbed me from what God was trying to bless my marriage with. I had to stop speaking my worries and doubts over my marriage and allow God to have His place where I was most weak. Trusting Him that no matter the pressures of society or how much time was passing by, my marriage has a purpose. We have to remember marriage is not easy, so adding the extra unnecessary pressures, defeats the goal of doing life together. God intended for your marriage to be unique. He desired for your marriage to create its own story and not mirror your friends. He knows every desire in you and your spouse’s heart. He has not forgotten or overlooked your prayers. God’s timing is perfect, and we must try to not control what He has perfectly destined for us. Your marriage is beautiful and will exceed beyond the limits of what our mortal minds presume success to be. 

Let’s thank God for where our marriages have been, where they stand and where God will take them. Express gratitude toward your spouse. Ask them for forgiveness for any unrealistic expectations and together prayerfully be expectant of what God is doing in your marriage. I encourage you to stop using phrases such as:  “we can’t do it”, “bless us not them”, “we give up”. Instead let’s be positive with phrases like: “we will make it with God’s help”, “we are blessed”, “we have a purpose” and  “God WILL make a way”.

Let me know if you relate to anything I shared today. I promise you this is a judgment free blog. Let me know your thoughts or what I can pray and believe for your marriage with you. 

Be blessed Beauty!